Like other parts of your mood, your confidence levels can regularly fluctuate. Your self-esteem may soar when you nail an important presentation, and then plummet when you miss out on a big promotion. How can you keep riding the self-worth peaks—or at least not stumble too deep into the valleys—even when things don’t go exactly how you want?
It’s all about being more mindful of who you surround yourself with, regulating the thoughts you allow in your head, and paying more attention to what you have than what you don’t, says Goal Auzeen Saedi, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist who practices in Portland, OR.
Confidence Hack #1: Make a Positivity List
While you can’t safeguard yourself against less desirable outcomes at all times (rejection, loss, and failure are all bound to happen on occasion), you can determine how much you let these periods affect how you feel about yourself. “I often recommend that clients keep a list of all the things going really well in their lives,” says Saedi. “In the times when things feel hopeless and they begin to lose sight of the good things, they have a very visual and real representation of what is going on in their lives.” Make this list when you’re feeling good and keep it nearby for times when you’re feeling less sure. A quick reminder of the riches in your life may make it easier to stop focusing on any shortcomings.