I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re having a letting-go movement. The Japanese decluttering specialist Marie Kondo has elevated the concept of letting go to levels so high, we’re now using her name as an actual verb. There’s a great sense of accomplishment that comes with purging the stuff we no longer need or want. After all, when we lighten our load and get rid of what’s no longer working, we open up space for what is.

All of this seems fairly simple when it comes to cleaning out the kitchen junk drawer. But when it comes to letting go of people, relationships, and even intangible letgoables like beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and ideas, it’s hard to know where to even begin.

To help you get started, I’ve created a letgoables hit list. As your awareness, and your own list, grows and you begin to release stuff, you might feel like your possibilities for love will get smaller. To the contrary, as you begin to prune the weeds, you’ll finally see where the flowers are—and where it will be worth your while to spend time tending the soil. And you’ll move closer to finding the Big Wild Love you’ve always wanted—the kind you were afraid to ask for, or thought you didn’t deserve, or believed was out of reach.