User Avatar KopaOct 06, 2020

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Do This Instead

When was the last time you compared yourself to others? Maybe you measured your career path against that of an ex-colleague who became a VP at a big company while you're still stuck doing the same boring job. Perhaps you judged your parenting skills next to your sister who's raising three wonderful kids and has a successful career while you're running around with your hair on fire with your firstborn. Or maybe you compared your appearance to a high-school classmate on Facebook—he looks like he’s been running marathons, while you're still struggling to lose the 20 pounds you put on 10 years ago.

Comparison rarely makes us feel happy about ourselves. We tend to hone in on what's great about the other person and terrible about us, a natural negativity bias that poet Anne Lamott cautions us against with her wonderful advice: "Try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides."

Take a moment to think back to the last time you compared yourself to someone. How did you feel? In my work as a women’s leadership coach, I’ve found that when we compare our lives, careers, or successes against those of others, we tend to react in one of these three ways:

To read more articles like this, get advice from experts and meet others like you, join Kopa (for free!)